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So I fig­ured I’d try out the new meme. Go get a list of the top 100 songs from your High School grad­u­a­tion year, and strike through the ones you wish had never been writ­ten. If you don’t know, or don’t care about a song, leave it as-is. Note the good ones (done here via ital­ics, ooh).

1. Too Close, Next
2. The Boy Is Mine, Brandy and Monica
3. You’re Still The One, Shania Twain
4. Truly Madly Deeply, Savage Garden
5. How Do I Live, LeAnn Rimes
6. Together Again, Janet
7. All My Life, K-Ci and JoJo
8. Candle In The Wind 1997, Elton John — fuck the royals.
9. Nice and Slow, Usher
10. I Don’t Want To Wait, Paula Cole — don’t remem­ber it
11. How’s It Going To Be, Third Eye Blind — would that I could strike this twice.
12. No, No, No, Destiny’s Child
13. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion
14. Gettin’ Jiggy Wit, Will Smith
15. You Make Me Wanna…, Usher
16. My Way, Usher
17. My All, Mariah Carey
18. The First Night, Monica
19. Been Around The World, Puff Daddy and The Family
20. Adia, Sarah McLachlan
21. Crush, Jennifer Paige — don’t remem­ber it
22. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back), Backstreet Boys
23. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, Aerosmith — I remem­ber won­der­ing how they were not dead yet.
24. Body Bumpin Yippie-Yi-Yo, Public Announcement
25. This Kiss, Faith Hill
26. I Don’t Ever Want To See You Again, Uncle Sam — don’t remem­ber it
27. Let’s Ride, Montell Jordan
28. Sex And Candy, Marcy Playground
29. Show Me Love, Robyn — don’t remem­ber it
30. A Song For Mama, Boyz II Men
31. What You Want, Mase
32. Frozen, Madonna — only for the video, like every other Madonna song, ever
33. Gone Till November, Wyclef Jean
34. My Body, Lsg — don’t remem­ber it
35. Tubthumping, Chumbawamba — this one is a tough call, as it’s ran­corous vapid­ity turned me off of the oth­er­wise great band for three years.
36. Deja Vu (Uptown Baby), Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz — don’t remem­ber it
37. I Want You Back, ‘N Sync
38. When The Lights Go Out, Five — don’t remem­ber it
39. They Don’t Know, Jon B. — don’t remem­ber it
40. Make Em’ Say Uhh!, Master P — doing his best to make sure you never lis­ten to Hip-Hop.
41. Make It Hot, Nicole Featuring Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott and Mocha — ditto
42. Never Eve, All Saints — don’t remem­ber it
43. I Get Lonely, Janet
44. Feel So Good, Mase
45. Say It, Voices Of Theory — don’t remem­ber it
46. Kiss The Rain, Billie Myers — same
47. Come With Me, Puff Daddy — naw, I’m good
48. Romeo And Juliet, Sylk-E Fyne — took me a while to remem­ber how much I hated this one.
49. It’s All About Me, Mya and Sisqo
50. I Will Come To You, Hanson — Wait, you mean Taylor Hanson is a guy!? (watch Family Guy if you don’t get it)
51. One Week, Barenaked Ladies
52. Swing My Way, K.P. and Envyi — don’t remem­ber it
53. The Arms Of The One Who Loves You, Xscape — don’t remem­ber it
54. My Love Is The Shhh!, Somethin’ For The People — don’t remem­ber it
55. Daydreamin’, Tatyana Ali — don’t remem­ber it
56. We’re Not Making Love No More, Dru Hill — don’t remem­ber it
57. Semi-Charmed Life, Third Eye Blind — I learned the term “heavy rota­tion” because of this one
58. I Do, Lisa Loeb
59. Lookin’ At Me, Mase — don’t remem­ber it
60. Looking Through Your Eyes, LeAnn Rimes
61. Lately, Divine
62. Quit Playing Games (With My Heart), Backstreet Boys
63. I Still Love You, Next — don’t remem­ber it
64. Time After Time, Inoj — don’t remem­ber it
65. Are You Jimmy Ray?, Jimmy Ray — No, but I also don’t remem­ber it
66. Cruel Summer, Ace Of Base — I remem­ber this one because I was won­der­ing how they were still on the radio, since they sucked in 93.
67. I Got The Hook Up!, Master P
68. Victory, Puff Daddy and The Family
69. Too Much, Spice Girls — could I strike the whole group from the record? Please?
70. Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are), Pras Feat. Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Mya — I still can lis­ten to this one
71. How Deep Is Your Love, Dru Hill Featuring Redman
72. Friend Of Mine, Kelly Price — don’t remem­ber it
73. Turn It Up [Remix] / Fire It Up, Busta Rhymes
74. I’ll Be, Edwin McCain — don’t remem­ber it
75. Ray Of Light, Madonna
76. All For You, Sister Hazel — don’t remem­ber it
77. Touch It, Monifah — don’t remem­ber it
78. Money, Power and Respect, Lox
79. Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve
80. Dangerous, Busta Rhymes
81. Spice Up Your Life, Spice Girls — no thanks
82. Because Of You, 98 Degrees
83. The Mummers’ Dance, Loreena McKennitt — don’t remem­ber it
84. All Cried Out, Allure Featuring 112
85. Still Not A Player, Big Punisher Featuring Joe
86. The One I Gave My Heart To, Aaliyah
87. Foolish Games / You Were Meant For Me, Jewel — don’t really like it, but at the time I was still stuck on the yodelling
88. Love You Down, Inoj — don’t remember
89. Do For Love, 2Pac
90. Raise The Roof, Luke
91. Heaven, Nu Flavor — don’t remember
92. The Party Continues, Jd
93. Sock It 2 Me, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott Featuring Da Brat — the start of the come­back of “t[o,w]o = 2″
94. Butta Love, Next
95. A Rose Is Still A Rose, Aretha Franklin
96. 4 Seasons Of Loneliness, Boyz II Men
97. Father, LL Cool J
98. Thinkin’ Bout It, Gerald Levert
99. Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here, Deborah Cox
100. Westside, TQ

So out of the 100, I have decreed that 48 of them should be stricken from the record. Of the remain­ing 52, I only actu­ally remem­ber 11 (and gave up typ­ing). Of those 11 that I remem­ber and don’t hate, only 2 are actu­ally good songs.

So yeah, either I’m way to crit­i­cal, or music in 1998 just sucked that bad. I was on a record-geekish, “my tastes are smarter than your tastes, so fuck you and your tongue-in-cheek ‘trailer trash’ hat” phase, but look at that list. The best stuff on it is from 2Pac’s safe­house in Seatt, erm, archives and Dru Hill. When Dru Hill is respon­si­ble for the best song of your year (and it’s not even really a con­test), you should fig­ure out how bad pop music sucks. Thank god for “Classic Rock” sta­tions, which were on a Led Zepplin/Jimi Hendrix/Doors/Janis Joplin kick (per­haps sens­ing the obvi­ous mar­ket for music that doesn’t suck ass).

Of course, this was par­tic­u­larly noti­ci­ble to me at the time, hav­ing first got­ten inter­ested in pop music thanks to Digable Planets’ Rebirth of Slick and grunge. In spite of the retreaded “I can be Ozzy from the 70s” sound, shot­gun willie and friends still kicked the shit out of any­thing on that list.